in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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