I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
