Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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