i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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