I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize