I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I want a musical about memes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
