sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize