In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
