My room smells like vodka and shame
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
