i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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