...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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