According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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