did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
