Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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