There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
