Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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