I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Rumble strips road head = magical
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
