do herpes really smell.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
