I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
