I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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