He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
