Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
