youre lurking in front of me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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