Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.

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  (512): I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck. http://tfl.nu/pefb
  Replies (8) Good night (1486) Bad night (1230)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket

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  (978): he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket http://tfl.nu/jdxn
  Replies (42) Good night (625) Bad night (4755)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.

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  (781): Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him. http://tfl.nu/iiv7
  Replies (15) Good night (8167) Bad night (1078)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.

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  (509): They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried. http://tfl.nu/h9l8
  Replies (17) Good night (2093) Bad night (4321)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"

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  (587): the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away" http://tfl.nu/q751
  Replies (7) Good night (989) Bad night (4991)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.

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  (512): I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog. http://tfl.nu/2ss8
  Replies (3) Good night (1216) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.

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  (630): You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that. http://tfl.nu/mbpz
  Replies (14) Good night (1774) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.

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  (609): Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams. http://tfl.nu/g3rk
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (513)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.

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  (720): I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony. http://tfl.nu/wqpi
  Replies (15) Good night (2374) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that

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  (262): Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that http://tfl.nu/fjxw
  Replies (9) Good night (602) Bad night (1134)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.

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  (219): We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual. http://tfl.nu/rrmi
  Replies (4) Good night (1706) Bad night (426)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.

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  (440): Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick. http://tfl.nu/gh2j
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...

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  (360): Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys... http://tfl.nu/6y99
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.

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  (727): No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/v8lz
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday

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  (413): Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday http://tfl.nu/ocr7
  Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (386)

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