Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

my computer doesn't work...

(619): View more from California

why?

(419): View more from Ohio

i puked on it last night

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(419): my computer doesn't work... (619): why? (419): i puked on it last night http://tfl.nu/kifb

Replies (4) Good night (796) Bad night (2388)
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(317): View more from Indiana

i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick

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(317): i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick http://tfl.nu/0icp

Replies (21) Good night (3629) Bad night (841)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!

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(859): Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi! http://tfl.nu/jfyt

Replies (23) Good night (6802) Bad night (841)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....

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(419): You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean..... http://tfl.nu/ti18

Replies (14) Good night (4805) Bad night (735)
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(425): View more from Washington

her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.

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(425): her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle. http://tfl.nu/baj8

Replies (52) Good night (2296) Bad night (7859)
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(812): View more from Indiana

No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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(812): No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours... http://tfl.nu/gctx

Replies (40) Good night (1273) Bad night (3672)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.

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(203): I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it. http://tfl.nu/2i57

Replies (43) Good night (4149) Bad night (4464)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.

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(610): Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other. http://tfl.nu/3et0

Replies (6) Good night (2893) Bad night (1041)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did mom hear me barking???

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

sooo high. sooo many dog friends

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(215): did mom hear me barking??? (267): oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one (215): sooo high. sooo many dog friends http://tfl.nu/gyg5

Replies (7) Good night (3569) Bad night (663)
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(530): View more from California

Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine

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(530): Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine http://tfl.nu/asqo

Replies (37) Good night (2136) Bad night (4085)
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(719): View more from Colorado

the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.

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(719): the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand. http://tfl.nu/ekbv

Replies (11) Good night (1612) Bad night (489)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.

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(402): What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine. http://tfl.nu/guf4

Replies (7) Good night (568) Bad night (999)
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(231): View more from Michigan

It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.

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(231): It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me. http://tfl.nu/2ez8

Replies (9) Good night (452) Bad night (1466)
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(+49): View more from Germany

I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!

(303): View more from Colorado

It's a Tuesday.

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(+49): I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier! (303): It's a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/jt9q

Replies (4) Good night (1452) Bad night (459)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.

(1-304): View more from West Virginia

And vodka?

(304): View more from West Virginia

And vodka.

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(304): The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period. (1-304): And vodka? (304): And vodka. http://tfl.nu/b29x

Replies (6) Good night (1417) Bad night (385)

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