we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
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He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital