how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.