party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You need Xanax blowdarts
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
