you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
