Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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