just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
