i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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