It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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