no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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