Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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