..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
