now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
