I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
