does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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