I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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