It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
