I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
