I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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