Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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