Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
