Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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