i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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