Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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