I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
