And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
