She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
how drunk are you?
Several
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
