So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
