I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
