OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
