your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
