I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
