they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
