We need to rekindle our bromance
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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