It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize