Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
