i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize