Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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