peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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