yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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