I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
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Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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