i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
